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Singapore
Saturday, November 26, 2022
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GIRL KENA HARASS BY A MANAGER WHO IS TWICE HER AGE AND WANTS TO ASK HER OUT

I (24F) work in a mostly-male environment since I work in IT, and I have never felt uncomfortable until I met this guy.

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He’s like 50, and he’s two levels above me and oversees a different part of IT but still approves some of my project stuff. He followed me on Instagram and on multiple occasions has gone back and liked my old uni pictures.

He also pulled me aside once and told me I have a super pretty voice and asked if I’m a singer (really odd to me). Few weeks ago I was in the office since I’ve started coming back, he came over and asked if I wanna go to lunch Thursday. I thought it would be a group thing, but he sent an invite to me and me only for a 1.5 hour lunch even though our break is only 1 hr.

The title said “your choice” so I could choose where we were going. I was creeped out. Today, he came over and said “you have a rash on your face” and touched my jaw.

Am I being overdramatic or should I be weirded out??

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Just for context he technically an indirect supervisor since he approves a lot of my work, but I don’t report to him directly. He has a high influence on the IT department as a whole especially since it isn’t a big organization.

Here are what netizens think:

  • Bring this to your direct managers attention right away. If you’re comfortable doing so, also directly tell this guy his behavior is making you uncomfortable. Document everything.
  • You are correct, this is inappropriate. Trust your gut. This guy is using his position and power to be a creep. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to your direct manager, talk to your HR person. If you don’t feel comfortable going straight to HR, find another woman to talk to who has been in the company a while and knows this guy.
  • If I was you, I would send him a very neutral but firm e-mail regarding the lunch invite (so you have a refusal to his invintation in writing): “Hi, thanks for the lunch invite. I thought it will be a group work lunch, but it seems I am the only person invited. I am sorry I can’t make it as it makes me feel uncomfortable. Thanks, Kind regards.”
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