Everybody farts. And when you’re in a long term live-together relationship like us (24F & 27M) you should feel comfy enough to be free & what not. Sure!!
My problem is, my boyfriend is an actual child when it comes to farting. He thinks farts are so funny. It’s a whole thing when he lets one out.
Examples: if we’re sitting on the couch watching TV together, he’ll hike his knees to his chest & push with all his might, fart loudly & laugh it off.
If he’s walking around the house he’ll stop in his tracks, bend over, spread his legs, fart & look at me to laugh. Like a toddler. Always laughs & I think it’s because he knows it annoys me.
Comments like “omg did you hear that?” “That was a wet one.” huge, exaggerated sighs of pure joy “awwwww yeah” , etc etc.
I get very annoyed not only because the immaturity but because they smell so bad…putrid. I gag sometimes. I grew up with brothers & my farts don’t smell like roses so it’s not like I’m super sensitive to this kind of thing. It’s just THAT bad. My first concern honestly was his health but he’s fine.
So here’s the kicker… I often voice my concerns to him. Tell him to try to stop farting so much around me. In our 6 years together I continue to keep my farts to myself to the best of my ability. That’s me though, I don’t expect the same from him.
At the very least I ask him to be discreet & not make it into this huge ordeal every time. I can ignore it that way.
You wanna know what his solution was?? After every loud, ridiculous fart, now he’ll try to give me a kiss. I said NO. do not try to “reward me” with affection when you act like that. Do not associate your over the top flatulence & childish gimmicks with kissing me. It’s not cute or charming. It doesn’t make me less annoyed. Don’t do it.
This starts an argument. He tries to essentially gaslight me saying things like “wooow you don’t want to kiss me?” “I’m not doing that, I wanted to kiss you anyways.” Don’t BS me dude. It’s become a pattern now. I try to tell him, please just listen to me & understand that it bothers me. If you really think to kiss me right after your farts, then just wait a couple minutes?
He says no he won’t do it because I’m just being crazy. I snap & say how it REALLY makes me feel: “I’m not crazy, It’s disgusting. It’s not attractive. If you want me to be grossed out every time you kiss me, then fine, keep at it.”
This was last night in bed & he just went to sleep after I said that. This morning he tried feeling me up & I just got up and went to my laptop to start my workday. Not interested. It really has affected my attraction towards him lately & I didn’t want to say it straight up like that because it probably hurt his feelings.
He was not willing to even listen to me though so I felt like it was the only thing to do. I don’t want to end up resenting him or overall disgusted with him as a person. Maybe giving him that reality check will help. I don’t know. Can anyone relate??