A girl shared how she is about to get married to her boyfriend who is “lazy and overly frugal”, and is asking how to deal with him.
Here is the story:
“How do I deal with a lazy and overly frugal boyfriend?
My boyfriend and I have a very loving relationship and we are about to get married. After reading this, in case some of you think I should leave him, that’s not an option because of his other superb traits (caring, kind, cheerful) that are actually more than enough for me. But I’m at a loss to do when it comes to how lazy and overly frugal he is.
We are both in the tech industry and he’s making multiples of the average salary for his age and has attained quite a lot of achievements over the years. These achievements are due to his hard work and definitely didn’t come by chance. I know people will say he’s probably lazy because he has already attained success. But the thing is, he’s also extremely frugal and by no means believes that his current state is already “success”. In fact, we hardly eat anything expensive and would even scrimp on toilet paper and shampoo because he still thinks we are poor and will run out of money. He would complain when I want to treat us to holidays together, or eat out. He would check the receipts of things I buy and scrutinize their cost. He would insist we switch off all the lights in the house and make it look super gloomy all the time to save on electricity bills.
I find this draining because it deeply conflicts with my own beliefs. Over the years, I started to realise that life is very short and time is the most valuable. So I want to spend time doing things I enjoy and experiencing everything life can offer, especially when we are still young and energetic. Besides this, I don’t believe that saving cost is the way to ensure we have money in the long-term. Rather than cost, we should find ways to generate income and in a sustainable manner. As such, I wake up very early in the morning to work on our side projects before work, and tried negotiating with him that all our passive income can be used to fund a better lifestyle. So far, we have already made enough to cover our monthly expenses.
However, despite my attempts, he still continues to be overly frugal. He also does not work on our side projects at all, and a lot of them are at a standstill because he spends his days lying on the bed looking at his phone, or playing games on his computer for more than 7 hours a day. I’ve tried many times to reason with him, using all kinds of logic, but it doesn’t work.
I can live with this, I can still marry this guy, but I really don’t understand why he has become like that and how I should help him. Appreciate any advice or experience ):”
Editor’s note: How is saving money a bad thing? Think of the bigger picture…