Sorry long rant ahead. AITA for not wanting to pay for my mom’s new BTO?
For context, I just recently graduated from NUS and is holding an average paying job of 5k a month. My mom is a single mom as my dad passed, and she has gotten a new BTO recently. She is working as an admin and earns about 3k monthly. As the sale proceeds of our current flat is not enough to cover the new flat, she wants me to top up the balance using my cpf as she thinks i’m capable since i’m working already.
My mom has very traditional values. She didn’t explicitly say but is planning to give the house to my bro after he gets married as she feels is the male responsibility to provide a house for his wife. Similarly, she also expects my bf side to be able to provide a house for our marriage. However I told her this is not the case for Singapore as couples usually BTO. I have already successfully BTO-ed with my fiancé and is planning to save up to pay for my own house.
She said i’m selfish for not offering my cpf to pay for her house but i told her it is not my responsibility to do so. It is also not my decision to buy a new house. I’m already giving her $800 a month as allowance, which i believe is higher than average as compared to the market given that she’s a single mom. But she still seems to be ungrateful and thinks that I SHOULD be giving her the money.
Also, there are 2 rooms in the current house (3 room flat) so she gives one room to my bro and i share a room with her. I’m fine with it but my last straw was that she wants to invite my bro’s gf to move into his room while my bro is in the army, so that they can meet asap when my bro comes back from the army. My bro’s gf is not singaporean so she rents a room outside. I told her that this is unfair to me as i would like to have my own room as well, and she should offer the empty room to me to stay instead of his gf while he is in army. But she said since he is a boy he should have the room no matter what.
After the whole fight she told me I am very selfish and told me to get out. I told her my BTO isn’t ready and my bf side also doesn’t have the conditions for me to move in. It’s so frustrating living together.
Please let me know if I’m the asshole as she has already gaslighted me into thinking that I am one.