Recently my ex-boyfriend and I started texting each other after nearly 2 months of no-contact. We went out and completed an activity that we always wanted to do together before break-up. Things seemed to going well between us. We were able to talk casually and teased each other a bit sometimes. And there was some light-hearted flirting too. I noticed that it was always me who initiated texting. But his reply had been prompt. And he’d explain his delayed reply if he didn’t manage to reply in time.
Things have been great until yesterday we were chatting over the phone for nearly 3 hours. We somehow brought up events that happened in the past. And I broke down realising that I still love him so much and wanted to give us another chance. I asked him if he still loves me. He didn’t answer. Instead he said he didn’t want to get back together with me, which I was not even asking. I was very hurt and disappointed. After the call, he still texted me light-heartedly as if nothing happened.
I feel that I need to be clear and understand where he stands. Also I want to be honest with him and myself. The next day I texted the following to him.
“Glad we talked it out last night. I care about you deeply and I love you. There are things that you must wish were different about this relationship or you wouldn’t be ending it. I’m prepared to do everything to work on things that I need to work on because this relationship matters to me. If you want to make this work, and you care about me and love me on the level that I do you, I trust that you’ll give us a shot based on that. But if you genuinely don’t want to fight for this or don’t even want to allow me to fight for this; then you must be right this is a wrong relationship. I can’t make you say yes to trying this again but I can tell you what I’m wiling to do and what I would love to do to make this work . I totally understand you don’t want us to get hurt again. And thanks for making it clear that you don’t want to get back tgt. It’s disappointing but I totally accept it. I respect your decision and I have to move on unless you tell me otherwise. Take care. Love you.”
And he replied.
“Glad that we managed to talk too. But it’s really not that simple, I have a lot of things I want to focus on and I don’t see myself making our relationship work if I’m gonna commit in other things as well. I don’t want to make everything fail at the same time. Even when I put things aside last time and focus on our relationship it couldn’t work, idk how I can make things work with me focusing on other stuffs. If I want to commit I have to make things work, I can’t be here and there and I know you won’t like it when I work on my own stuff most of the time. If we were meant to be then I’m sure we will still end up together, maybe I will succeed in something and you are still here for me or maybe you’d have moved on and I’m still a failure, we wouldn’t know. I think loving someone and moving on is a natural thing not to be forced, take care too”
What is he really thinking? I feel he doesn’t love me enough and putting up the above as excuses and keeps me hanging without being committed. He even said that I should give him time and wait for him. I feel very confused and manipulated emotionally. I still love him. My heart aches so much now. Any advice please?
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