I have a confession to make, something that I have felt ashamed of for the longest time and I hope that sharing it will help me in some way..
In my early teen days, I was groomed and assaulted by my teacher. When the incident happened, all I knew was I felt terrorized in his presence. It wasn’t until I was a few years older that I fully understood what he did to me. He would often bring me into a dark room under the pretense of speaking to me about my academics during lunch hours. To intimidate the heck of me so that I wouldn’t dare to talk to anyone about it. Another occasion was during one of my exams, he deliberately tried to caress my chest (back then, tiny punchy chest) by reaching his hand through my chest and then pointing to the paper on the mistakes I made using his role as the supervising examiner. He would also insist on offering free private tuition, and when I declined, he would threaten me with my failing grades, that he would speak to my parent, etc. During the coaching session, he would pull my seat next to him and rest his hand next to my butt and press against it on the chair. There were many other events that have caused me so much trauma.
I have never spoken to anyone about this, as it is a dark, traumatizing, and painful childhood for me. But looking back, I’ve realised how this has affected my current state of mind, that I find it challenging to have intimacy moment with the opposite gender and there are many trust issues that I need to overcome myself. Writing this, I could still recall the entire incident vividly with fear.. and realise that even with many years that have passed, I’m still profoundly affected and in pain. What should I do? How do I get past this…..
Editor notes: If he is still alive,confront him, you can still make a police report. Is never too late to seek justice.