Exactly 1 year ago, I wrote a confession here. I shared about dating a guy who earned so much less than me, and I had concerns with that. At that time in the comment section, I got bashed a lot.
Anyway I took the feedback, I went ahead and agreed to be his gf. Today, we have broken up for 4 months. The reason for breaking is (again) because he earned too little, and therefore his mindset was too different from mine when it comes to financial goals and spending. I also find it was too hard to feel happy when I had to keep hearing him complaining about paying for dates (to clarify, most of the time we split 50/50, sometimes I treated him but when it was his turn, the complaints came out). On top of this, with a humble financial background also comes very uneducated behaviors (for example, being mean to family members or cruel to animals). Not saying it is the case for all who earns less, just saying it’s a common risk.
Hence, for those girls who feel alright dating down, good for you. I can’t. I’m not demanding to be treated like princess here. Thinking back on how I was bashed and advised to not be materialistic 1 year ago, I just feel bitter. How women are often looked down on even for asking for just a little bit of fairness in relationships.
Recently, I’ve started dating someone who earns more. It feels good that he is classy and willingly picks up the bill most of the time (although I still insist to pay for some to maintain 50/50). So I’m not in for materialism but pointing out the financial capabilities speak something.
Here are what netizens think:
- To justify your action of not about money, then you should try to date someone low in financial but yet lovingly and motivated, and family chemistry is good, to prove us wrong. To be honest, guy who earn low and complaining need to do a lot of self reflection and yet it is a rough journey for him too because he is in the hard mode from the beginning; unlike you, in the easy mode for the beginning somehow. Anyway, I havr to say that you tried. Thanks for giving him a try. Hope this one will bring you happiness and don’t educate your kids too much on seeing financial value as the measurement for their life value.
- u just tama tama met someone who earn less and mean, and someone who earn more and classy. all this is tama2, zui hao it’s so easy la. then everyone just find rich girls and guys jiu hao
- I always tell people and especially my son … there are no free sex. Gotta pay for it in some way, shape or form. Boys should not be dating or get married if you are not at a financial standard