A netizen shared how she had been in a relationship with her boyfriend for many years but he is now neglecting her.
Here is the story
My bf & I met almost a decade ago in NUS and we have been in a relationship for so many years. Saw the other post about the couple having an upcoming BTO & having limited time to meet due to busy work schedules (& the seventh year itch) and it somewhat resonates partly with me as I think I might be facing similar issues with my bf as well.
At the start of the relationship, it was really sweet as we get to spend almost every day tgt as we attend lectures and have meal breaks tgt. However, ever since work started few years ago and both of us having to work shifts and long hours (on weekends as well so it’s hard to match schedules), it’s been harder to meet and spend time with each other (approx meet for a meal tgt every 1-2 weeks) but I am still overall happy & satisfied with the relationship.
Recently (over the past months especially), his work is becoming more busy and I am starting to feel much more neglected..I am ashamed to & dare not tell my friends and family that sometimes I don’t even get messages replies from him the whole week. I know that he is not a texter but it disappoints me that while we are out for meals he would be taking some time busy replying to his work messages (which I would have appreciated if I’m his colleagues needing his inputs) but yet while we are not tgt I’ve to wait for his messages the whole week or more.
I know I am partly to blame for this because I tolerated this practice for so long & maybe I spam too much over so many things (some trivial things as well) that it’s hard to reply to & he’s becoming used to ignoring me.. but he’s the one I would like to talk to about everything and anything.. though I think I might also have stressed him a bit talking about wedding related stuffs (which I would definitely contribute in sharing for the related costs payment)
we would be getting our bto keys soon & sometimes I feel really sad thinking about how I don’t even get the bto proposal or any proposal yet (as I was kind of the one who suggested to bto-the practical me spotted a good bto location and we discussed and lucky us got it at first try too & I’ve discuss with him and set the rom date to be in line with our keys collection). It sometimes feel like he’s making minimal effort in the relationship.. I know that I shouldn’t be jealous of others’ relationships because each relationship have their own issues that outsiders may not know but can’t help but feel envious when my close friends (who have got together with their partners for half the duration of my relationship) have gotten sweet engagements recently & meanwhile my relationship have become more mundane.
Overall he’s been a pleasant partner who has been quite encouraging and supportive e.g. whenever I face issues at work etc (as both of our jobs can be quite stressful at times), he would offer me moral support & a listening ear when we meet. He also takes effort to treat me on occasions eg. my birthday & I treat him during his too & its still a stable relationship and I am happy every time we meet but at the same time still hope that he will try to make more effort than what he’s doing now sometimes. For example, if I don’t ask him to meet, we probably won’t be meeting for that weekend because I guess he would assume that I’m busy.
I think that we have come a long way and definitely don’t wish to give up on this relationship and hope that we would be able to overcome all challenges & may the ‘busy phase’ be over. I want him to do well for his work too but not sure how long more I can stand this lack of effort & response before I break down.