FROM HEAVEN TO HEL-LITOSIS: The Jungle Down Under!
EXCLUSIVE: It started as a Southern Summer Romance, but it’s turned into a pungent paranormal activity! One heartbroken girlfriend reveals that while the sparks are still flying, the scent is strictly “expired dairy.” She’s survived a global pandemic and lost her sense of smell, yet even that couldn’t shield her from the “Sour Milk” mystery currently residing in her boyfriend’s trousers. Is it the “jungle” of hair or a hygiene horror story? We dive deep into the relationship that’s currently on life support—and holding its nose!
The story:
My boyfriend smells bad…down there
So when my boyfriend and I first started dating it was fine. No smell and it was summer IN THE SOUTH!
Now, not to be gross, but if I were to describe the smell it’s like..sour milk. Like sour milk left in the sun all day. The second he takes his pants off I smell that dreadful smell.
I obviously hide the fact that I’m grossed out because I don’t want him to feel bad. My guess is his pubes. He shaved when we first started dating and then he gave up after we got comfortable with each other so now he has a whole jungle of it.
I don’t understand why that would make it smell bad because he showers every day. I try not to gag when it goes anywhere near my face and it’s getting to a point where I just don’t wanna sleep with him at all.
I’m surprised he can’t smell himself because of how strong it is. I have a weak sense of smell because I had Covid in 2020 and I can STILL SMELL IT!!!!
I can’t take it anymore so what do I say to him without hurting feelings?
Here is a tabloid-style treatment for this “stinky” situation, leaning into that classic over-the-top, sensationalist energy.
THE VERDICT: Shave It or Crave It?
As our anonymous source struggles to keep her lunch down while her man lets it all hang out, the clock is ticking on this romance. Can a relationship survive a scent so strong it defies medical history? Or is it time to hand him a razor and a bottle of industrial-strength pH-balanced soap before the bedroom doors close for good? One thing is for sure: if love is in the air, someone needs to spray some Febreze—fast!