Friend told me that my standards for a guy are too high, but I think they are the bare minimum
My friend told me I will be single forever if I don’t lower my standards. That’s her argument on why she gets into relationships and I can’t. Those standards are:
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- Being (or around) my age (21)
- Drives a car. Or at the very least has a reliable way of getting around. I don’t want to be their chauffeur or DD anytime we go out.
- Enrolled or went to uni OR has a stable job if he didn’t.
- Does not have a criminal record
- Doesn’t do drugs, doesn’t smoke cigarettes, no gambling issue and not an alcoholic. I don’t mind drinking, but not I don’t want an alcoholic
- Does not have SEVERE mental health issues and isn’t special needs. (Such as low functioning autism and cluster B personality disorders/ borderline, narcissistic that sort of thing.) This does NOT mean that I will leave a partner if they become sick or disabled during the relationship
- Not a “momma’s boy” meaning I have to pick up where his mom left off (taking care of ALL the financial, emotional and domestic labor and he contributes nothing)
- Maintains basic hygiene, showers regularly, brushes teeth
- Has manners. Doesn’t burp or fart in public but if they do. They’ll at least say excuse me.
- Isn’t shorter than me but I can make exceptions
- Eats vegetables/at the very least tolerates healthy food. I’m not asking them to be in top top shape as I am not myself. I’m fine with them being overweight/underweight but I don’t want to be with someone who only eats chicken nuggets and instant ramen.
- Is over his ex. I do not want to be a rebound or in a love triangle with an ex
- Doesn’t leave me on delivered/read for more than 24 hours (unless there is a valid reason)
- And I’m most importantly, emotionally available, communicates well, doesn’t cheat, and adheres to boundaries.
I really don’t think these standards ar that high. Are they?!?! Do I expect them to meet everything on this list at all times? No. I understand times get tough and i may have to be more understanding at times. But this is just general.