I cheated on my boyf of 5 years
I’ve known this guy(let’s call him M) for about 1 year or so and we’ve been talking on and off. We would text for a day or two, then he’ll mia.
It all happened a few months ago, when M started to proactively text me, asking me how’s my weekend etc. It was also a period when me and my boyf was not in our best state. We were having arguments often, so M’s presence was an outlet for me to seek comfort.
It was that Wednesday where things started to take a turn, and he asked me over to his house. Don’t know why I agreed to it, but yes I ended up at his house. Thinking back, I felt I was in denial. I thought to myself in the car what could possibly go wrong with 1 men and 1 women alone in a room, we were just friends right?
I cheated both physically and mentally… Somehow, I started to take an interest in M. I wouldn’t say he’s very handsome but he was charming in a certain way that I can’t describe. We met often, and I just can’t stop thinking about him every single day. Did I mention he was also attached? So I and M agreed to continue this fwb while maintaining our relationship with our partners. Everytime me and my boyf are in bed, I can’t stop reminding myself of M.
The thing is… I know M is just temporarily. He’ll be gone once he gets bored. But my boyf is taking our relationship to the next step, looking out for bto etc. I know ultimately I’ll fall back on my boyf that’s why I wouldn’t want to break up with him. Part of me wants to have some moral and end things with M, but the other part of me keep thinking about M. A little context about my boyf is that he wasn’t the best guy.
During the first few years of our relationship, I would always bring up breaking up as he constantly lies to me. Promises were always broken, and I felt my forgiveness was taken for granted. So I guess my relationship was M was my revenge towards my boyf.
What should I do? Break off the fwb, or keep hiding from my boyf.