Im bipolar and currently unmedicated at the moment. I hate trying to hide behind my disorder, but I always put myself in the most horrible and obviously dumb situations. A 20-year-old (at the time) who took my V when I was 16, had stopped talking to me for about 3 years and sent me a friend request on Facebook about 5 days ago.
I didn’t really think about why he sent me a request but I had been going out and partying a lot in my manic state. He told me to call him and he apologizes for some things that happened in the past.
He had mentioned he had alcohol which was my sole purpose for getting together with him.
I thought it’d be okay if I told him I wanted to hang out as a friend. I was taking shot after shot and I eventually got tired and laid down. We were watching the movie he put on and he pulled me under him and started kissing my neck.
I started to consent while I was drunk, after a second I kinda wanted it to stop but didn’t say anything.
I ended up blacking out completely while he was on top of me but he told me he kept going until he decided not to anymore due to me blacking out the next morning.
If I were sober I wouldn’t have wanted to have sex and once I sobered up I started to comprehend more and more that he still had sex with me when I was unconscious. I’ve been a mess ever since.
I have more sense than to do this but I feel like my mental health just puts me in a state to make decisions like this one, and it messed me up even worse.
Has anyone ever been through something similar?