My best friend is currently leaving her boyfriend because for the past 6 months he’s been unemployed and has made almost no effort to find a job. He plays video games and watches youtube almost all day and barely cleans or cooks, she pays the majority of the bills and a vacation. How many of us women here have either supported or knew someone else who supported a man like my best friend’s now ex? I’m sure a lot of you have, and I have my own story.
When I was 23, I found out my fiancé of 4 years was cheating on me. He was on and off employed, never cleaned or cooked. I was very naive and insecure back then. I was overweight and was called names throughout all my years in school, he took advantage of that.
He messed up his credit with credit cards and loans. I paid off a lot of his debt, and when I found out he was cheating on me, I was so ashamed and embarrassed when I realized how much he took advantage of me, that I barely told anyone he cheated on me, I just said we were growing apart.
After that, a deal breaker for me being in a relationship was if he couldn’t financially support himself or had a lot debt, and he didn’t clean or cook. And almost 20 years later, I’m in my late 30’s and I have met a lot of women who have been in the same situation as my best friend and I. It’s usually the same story, he’s unemployed, doesn’t clean and cook, and plays video games most of the time.
During all of that time, I’ve known one gold digger, and the only reason she was one was because men begged her to. In her teens and early 20’s my cousin was very beautiful, if you saw her she was probably the most beautiful person you’ll see in a while. Men begged her to be with them even if it wasn’t in terms of intimacy. They threw a lot money at her. When we were 16 a man in his 20’s dropped us off at the mall with $1,000 dollars and all she did was go out with him a few times. I can give you many more stories. What young person would resist money like that and all you have to do is give someone attention for a little bit? That’s why she was a gold digger, she took advantage of the lengths men would go to be with her just because she was beautiful.
Women are considered gold diggers because some of them want a guy to pay for a few dinners, or they’re called gold diggers because a man will happily spoil her to have a beautiful woman on his arms. But women who are with gold diggers they don’t get a hot man on their arms. Instead they get a lazy slob on their couch while she works and is his maid. They get ignored for video games, and they go in debt, not because they want to spoil their man, but because she has to pay the bills and keep her house and other possessions.
Women aren’t the gold diggers, the patriarch and society makes us out to be ones, so some men can continue to pay young women to be their arm candy or some can use us to be lazy slobs. If men don’t want to take responsibility for their part in being gold diggers then that word needs to be eliminated, it’s a double standard.