I’ve been seeing this guy for a few months. He said he wants to date casually because he’s in the process of getting a divorce.
But he asks me to hang out probably 5 or 6 days a week. We’ve been very vulnerable with each other and are definitely sharing a connection. He invited me over to have dinner with him so he could cook his mom’s favourite meal, it was the anniversary of her death.
He tells me how wonderful I am all the time. He’s cried in front of me talking about vulnerable things. But he still says we are dating casually and he does not want to be monogamous. I am invested at this point. I have feelings for him that I may have never felt in my whole life. At this point, I feel like I am being led on or he just doesn’t know what he wants or feels. I want to communicate this to him but I don’t know how or when. His words do not match his actions. I can tell that he cares for me and feels the same connection that I do. I don’t want to give him an ultimatum. Maybe I should tell him I just need to back off for a little while? I dont know what to do.
I just sent him this text message – I need to take a step back here and establish a boundary. Your actions do not match your words (we are NOT dating casually) and I need to protect my heart.
His response: I understand. I do really like you and enjoy your company. I am not trying to confuse you or mess with your heart. I do actually think about you and how you are doing. I consider you to be a wonderful person that I like spending time with. Honestly out of anyone i have met on that silly app you are the only one i feel that way about. Me not wanting to commit has nothing to do with “getting laid” or wanting to date around. Relationship is exhausting.
I guess I should follow your advise as well. I don’t like the thought of you dating other people but I also know that I am still a basket case from my divorce. The last thing I want is to bring any of that baggage to you. It has been wonderful spending time with you and I guess that is providing (selfishly) me a level of comfort. Can we get together tonight or tomorrow and discuss in person? I feel like intentions get lost over text.
Then he just said he’s falling for me too. Now I’m so freaking confused.