A netizen shared how she struggles to talk to her mother because she makes everything about herself and takes everything personally.
Here is the story:
Does anyone have advice for me? My mum and I are very close. We talk a lot. But you know when you first notice something and then suddenly that’s all you see? I realized that whenever I share something, something I experienced, or like a story I read online, she will make it about herself.
For example, I was talking about this YouTuber who I felt for because they were my age and was diagnosed with cancer. Her immediate response was: “that’s why I helped my sis-in-law when she was diagnosed. It was such a hard time for us because she was so young…….”
It doesn’t seem significant, but if it is every topic I bring up, I can’t help but feel irritated. What’s worse is when I am having a hard time and just need consoling, instead, she’ll bring up something similar she experienced. And then she’ll start crying and I have to comfort her instead because her troubles are “worse” than mine.
I understand that some people do this because that’s how they converse. They continue convos by relating it to themselves. And most times, they are trying to provide comfort when they bring up their own experiences.
But now that I noticed it, it is so glaring to me. I feel like I don’t want to share anything anymore because she’ll make it about her. Or like I end up leaving a conversation feeling horrible. I can be talking about the plot of a k-drama I watched and then she’d interrupt and talk about that time my father cheated and the details that she had already shared with me multiple times before and then break down into tears in the middle of the cafe.
I know she’ll be offended if I brought this up. She takes everything personally instead of being constructive. I think I am tired.. (kinda looking forward to graduating and then working instead of being stuck at home all the time)
Wow reading all of this back and I sound like a horrible daughter, any advice on how I can stop feeling so irritated with my own mother? I love her a lot but idk why I feel irritated with her..
You have to choose the people you confide in..mothers do not automatically become a good listener just because they are mothers, and if they are not chosen, that doesn’t mean you love them less