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Friday, February 3, 2023


Should I give my crush an ultimatum, and when?


I have been dating my friend for a few weeks, for context, she had recently dumped her bf about 2 months ago, on one of our meetups l, she confessed that she had some level of interest in me being her future partner, long story short, on the most recent meetup, she brought me to a secluded area and we kissed,

However, the next day she confessed that she did not felt ‘butterflies in her stomach’ and that she felt kinda guilty that we progressed too fast, and told me that she is certain that she would not want a relationship with me, even in the future, and that she only wants to remain friends

Obviously, what she said broke my heart, it hurts as it felt like she was toying with my feelings

so now I’m contemplating if I should and when should I give her an ultimatum; telling her that I would not remain friends with her as it would only hurt me in the long game, but maintaining that she can take her time before giving me an answer


Here are what netizens think:

  • If this is what happened, I think you don’t understand the situation.You failed to realise you do not have any control or power over her rejecting you. Rejection sucks and your reaction had shown her she made the right choice. Trying to corner her when she already rejected you is just going to end the already frail friendship.She’s a lesson. The next time don’t emotionally invest until you’re very sure it’s going somewhere.On a positive note, at least she confessed the next day didn’t let you continue to invest and spend time/money/resources on her for weeks.Just move on and date other girls.
  • She was being honest. She thought she might have a future. She took a step to see if that is possible. She realized there isn’t a future. She was honest about it from the get go and didn’t lead you on. Now, you feel like it went over your head so fast you didn’t process it enough. No point harping on it and no such BS as giving her an ultimatum. She was your crush. It didn’t work. You need to nurse your broken heart and move on. And respect her for being honest.
  • What ultimatum? U don’t have anything to give her, she doesn’t even care u want to be her friend or not. She was just playing you but you still can play games with her just for fun!
  • Give ultimatum for what? It just makes you a loser in her eyes and cemented her decision to reject you. Everyone has a right to choose. Don’t have feelings for you then don’t have lah, take it so hard for what. Reverse the roles and see how you feel when a girl you are not attracted to gives you an ultimatum. Take it as a rejection and move on. Plenty of people out there. Remember to hold the abundance mentality, don’t fall into the scarcity trap.
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