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Saturday, June 10, 2023


I am in my first job after close to 3.5 years and I wanted to quit badly. I need to know how do I resign without appearing confrontational.


Working in a tech sector and as a regulator is probably one of the best places to be in right now. However, I felt that my ties with my supervisor is getting from bad to worse. It’s either a case which she doesn’t understand what I said, or to simply micromanaged me, which I think it’s a blatant act of mistrust in me.

Just today, I said something and she gaslighted me by rolling her eyes.

The workplace is good, offering lots of skills upgrading and I guess that’s the reason why I persisted on. However, I don’t see myself staying there for long. I am probably just got to endure through this tech recession while using the company’s resources to upskill myself. To be honest, skills are something people will never be able to take away from you.

I intend to apply for an internal transfer or to simply leave the public sector for a job, even if I have to settle for a pay cut than to have my lifespan cut short.


I am wondering if is it a must to speak to my supervisor before I tender my resignation? Or do I just simply submit a resignation to HR and just inform her after I am done? And how do I do it without being confrontational?

Netizens’ comments

  1. If u allow someone affect you, you’re letting them win. Do not let them win. Why would you wanna quit a good company because of one person. In fact you should work so well that one day you’ll prevail. You’ll already be winning if you don’t be affected by anything she does or say.
    There are many ways to progress in life
    -Skills for your work
    -Skills to manage people.
    Instead of being upset because she micromanages you, take this as a challenge to improve point 2 above?
    Learn how to be tolerant with unreasonable people, learn how to separate your feelings and your actual work, learn to manage your emotions. The most successful people are the ones who don’t quit and don’t let anyone get in the way.
    I know it is difficult, continue doing what you’re suppose to do, every time she says something, just say ok and execute it.
    You can be frustrated, get drunk, go punch something at the gym, meditate, listen to music, switch off your phone during the weekend. Do everything, but don’t quit.
    Quit only when the company can no longer give you what you need to progress in life.
  2. I have come to realize that when one has decided to resign, there is no point persuading them to stay. Because they would already have deliberated about it for a long time (relative to the person’s perspective) before making the final decision.
    When I was planning to leave my job/s, I planned my exit carefully. Because I knew that I was really determined to leave and even if I were to ask to stay, things will never change and I will be going through the same vicious cycle.
    As such, I made sure that I:
    -secured another job
    -Calculated my annual leave and identify my last day of work
    -prepare the handover task list
    -Clear any outstanding projects (if possible)
    Once all the above are done, I tendered via the system.
    Because I have a good relation with my big boss. I informed them before I tendered so that they do not include me in their annual work plan.
    However, my direct supervisor only got to know after I have officially tendered my resignation via the HR system. I spoke to my direct supervisor in person about this.
    Despite not having a good impression of my direct supervisor, I remained professional throughout the whole process. Highlighting neutral reasons (e.g., venturing in diff industry or job scope) for my resignation.
    The intention is to keep the bridge intact because words travel. You want to maintain a good reputation. Your future employer may do a reference check. So protect yourself.
    All the best to you!
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