My (23M) girlfriend (23F) asked me if I would get a vasectomy and I initially told her “probably not” and now she’s upset with me and is considering this in our relationship and doesn’t want to talk.
We are in long distance relationship and she asked me this out of the blue in a Facetime call. I told her I honestly didn’t even know what a vasectomy initially was so she explained it to me that same call. After explaining she asked me if I would do one and I told her “probably not” and now she’s upset with me and won’t reply to me.
After she hung up, I went ahead and spent a few hours reading articles and blogs to educate myself about the benefits of vasectomies and the reasons to decide if it’s the best choice for me.
I’m much more okay with going through a procedure now after reading up about it but I’m not 100% for doing it because of the process/cost of it and us both talking about wanting to marry each other and have children together.
I don’t think it’s fair for her to ask me out of the blue an important question like this and then get upset with my initial answer because it takes many couples, MONTHS and even YEARS to discuss with each other if a vasectomy is the best option.
I can understand her or any girl getting upset if their partner encourages them to tie their tubes or use birth control and not do the same thing but I never pressed those idea towards her because I know how BC might negatively affect her.
I’ve told her that I’d much rather choose abstinence as the first option before consider doing a vasectomy and also because sure, a vasectomy is reversible, but also there could be implications where it won’t work and can also be very costly.
I’ve sent her a long text about how I feel and how I’ve educated myself on it, but still need to learn more about the procedure and if it’s right. I also let her know how I feel that isn’t fair for her to be upset after my initial response because something as big as this takes a lot of time to think through.
She still hasn’t replied to me so I’m going to wait a little bit to see if she wants to call and talk about it after she reflects on my response. Not sure what I should I say?