My(21F) partner(23M) just proposed and I’ve been planning on leaving the relationship prior to proposal…
My partner and I have been together for more than 3 years now. Our relationship has had some serious issues and had everything lined up to leave soon within the next few months unbeknownst to him.
He knows and is aware of our issues. He wants kids I don’t, we also haven’t been romantically involved in a while because I just don’t feel comfortable
idk if I’m not interested in any genders or if it’s just realizing we’re growing apart, and he’s very very controlling down to what I’m allowed to wear out and when I’m allowed to go out.
He proposed and I don’t want to just leave because I feel bad and don’t want to hurt his feelings even though I know it sadly will.
I also feel bad because he paid a lot for the ring and went out of his way for this big proposal so I felt bad to even say no.
I would’ve never thought he would’ve proposed because he never seemed like the type that wanted to get married and just with the issues we’ve been having.
I’ve thought about talking to him about an open relationship with boundaries since I’m not romantically comfortable and hoping that maybe he will find someone else that way.
Is there any way I can quietly/kindly get out of this? It’s making me very sad and depressed at this point. Thanks in advance!
Netizens’ comments
- Have you ever thought that he could tell you both were growing apart and this was a way to try and control you and prevent you leaving ?
- He wants kids, you don’t. Done deal.
And never stay in a relationship out of pity and fear of hurting the other person – why would you submit yourself to such unhappiness for yourself?
Relationships end, that’s not a bad thing, and in this instance, it’s really not. Rip off the band-aid, you have a whole life left to live, and you should live for yourself rather than for someone you’re not even compatible with
Also, he knew you wanted to leave and made the decision to buy this ring and propose in some grand way? That’s hella manipulative. - You need to go ahead and hurt his feelings. You are way too worried about his. Put yourself first. Tell him it’s over and you are now broken up.