I miss having a girlfriend
So my boyfriend came out as ftm a couple of months ago.
We were together as a W&W couple for just little over a year before that.
I decided to stay, because I love him and I’m bi. I just have a huge preference for women. (I’m extremely attracted to femininity, whether it’s in men or women. I largely prefer women, but I also like men. I’m just more picky when it comes to men.)
He’s my first partner ever, and I miss having a girlfriend. That’s it.
He’s started hormones about a month ago. And I’m gonna miss the soft skin. I’m gonna miss the beardless face. He’s pre-op (top and bottom surgery), but I already can’t touch him like I used to.
And I miss kissing a female body everywhere. I just… miss everything about what my relationship used to be. Before he came out.
I feel like I can’t tell this to anybody. Because it makes me feel like a horrible person. I’ve been super supportive of his transition. Drove him to appointments, got him packers, I use his pronouns, treat him like a boyfriend.
I just keep dreaming of having a girlfriend. I want to kiss a girl. I want to touch a girl. I want to be in a relationship with a girl.
But I love him so much. I can’t imagine my life without him.
I feel horrible.