So I was chatting with this guy on tinder and things progressed so well we moved offline. Even before meeting each other its like he knew me inside out. You get the feeling he’s probably really the one when he could finish your sentence for you. When he could guess what you are gonna say next. Without exaggerating, I felt like I had found my soulmate. I looked forward to his texts and found myself smiling silly when it came. And his voice, mature deep with a hint of playfulness, unlike some guys with that annoying ducky voice. I have had 3 past boyfriends, but he already felt different. Without exaggerating again, he felt like my dream guy. Every piece seemed to fit. He’s a couple years older, a free thinker, a stable job, normal family, non-smoker, only goes for whiskeys & cognacs, and we have so much in common and connect so well.
So when this circuit break was lifted, I was literally almost dying to meet him. And met we did.
I almost really wanted to die.
The fact I could see the top of his head and I see a balding moon means he’s at least a good 5CM shorter than me. And I wasn’t even wearing high heels. And I’m only 167cm.
My past boyfriends were all at least 172cm. I had taken for granted he would meet this basic requirement.
Why oh why any God up there? Why are you so cruel to me? Why give me so much hope only to snatch it away like that? I’m already 33, my clock is ticking fast. What’s the use of giving me the perfect guy, only for him to be a shortie?
I used to sniggle at women whose guys are shorter than them. Is this now my punishment?
I made an excuse to leave after half hour. What would people think seeing me with a shortie guy with balding head? Most probably sniggling behind my back. He didn’t seem to mind, but I wanted to die.
Since then he’s turned from dream guy to nightmare. Pestering to meet again, asking why I’m ignoring his calls. Why can’t shortie get the hint? Go find someone in your shortie league.
I will rather stay single and celibate. Hell, I can even accept ugly or fat guys, but never short ones. No hobbits, dwarves or midgets.