Hi everyone. My wedding is booked for Nov 2022. However we can’t seem to quarrel effectively or sort out our issues. There are no obvious deal breakers (no physical abuse, no drugs or smoking kinda thing) he also converted to be a Catholic for me although he doesn’t follow or believes super strongly.
I am doing 90% of the wedding planning, when I ask him to follow up on simple things (like inviting people, or scanning photos for childhood montage) it takes weeks even months for him. When I chase him he just says he will do it, when I ask how long he needs he doesn’t stick to it. This tells me that we can’t even work on a project together geez.
I am a direct person, earn more than him (and pay more for the wedding deposits etc, he says he is stressed that I earn more), and have more opinions than him, he’s more suibian. One of the recent things we argued about was him wanting to spend thousands on a Feng Shui master annually and I was trying to convince him otherwise but he said alot of hurtful things like I’m controlling his decisions.
Added: the Feng Shui master was a random shop we went in to try, and he told my bf that I’m supposed to have 3 husbands and that my relationship with him will fail because I push him away, he gets frustrated and cheats on me. Then my bf turns and says see la your fault because you keep controlling me. I’m like wtf? This is a hypothetical situation and it’s my fault?
I cry so much but nothing changes, his words are also hurtful eg: this is why people dislike you, get out of your self-centred cave, everything is all about you, I feel like a bird trapped in a cage. I told him to think whether he really wants to marry me or not since he thinks this way and he thinks I am throwing ultimatums around.
How do you know this person is the one ? Shouldn’t people be happy to be getting married ? I don’t feel happy at all.
Side note: I am slightly committophobic.