Is it reasonable for me to not want to get married soon?
We have been with each other for nearly 5 years. Knew each other since secondary school. We are both 23 this year and both just got our full time jobs.
My parents has been giving me the impression that I should get married soon but I feel like I am not ready yet.
Reason: I was down with cancer last year for approximately 8 months and was ‘finding myself’ for a few months after being cured. During this period, I did basically nothing, even my hobbies were at a stand still.
I want to take the next 1-2 years replacing the time I ‘lost’. Basically, my view is that if I were to get married soon, I would be in a proper commitment where I can’t do most of the things I want to right now, mainly buying a motorbike, as both would be a major financial commitment.
Don’t get me wrong, my girlfriend is the best in the world. Stuck by me through out my cancer journey, which I feel many people in this world would not do.
I just wanted to see the view of others as I can’t talk much about this to my co-workers as I don’t want them to know about my health history.
Netizens’ comments
- I think the more important question is does your girlfriend want to get married? Have you guys discussed some form of timeline?
- Since your gf is the best in the world and stuck with you throughout your cancer journey but you both want to save up first before marriage, I have a suggestion that would please your family and also move your relationship forward:
It’s simple. You propose to your GF first. You don’t have to start planning your marriage straightaway. People can take 2-3 years after proposal to ROM and have the wedding ceremony. Once you proposed, your family will stop harassing you. Then your GF will also be assured that you want to marry her. If her family and friends ask, at least she got something concrete to show them that you want to marry her. I.e. the engagement ring.
Lastly, if your GF is willing to stick with you throughout your cancer journey, don’t ever let her go man. There are WIVES out there who divorce their husbands the moment they have cancer or the moment there is a sign of trouble. Your GF is a real gem so treasure her. Don’t let a reason of “money not enough” stop you from marrying her. Money can always earn. A good GF/wife, only got one. - If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. I don’t think your gf would want to marry you if you’re not ready. It’s okay to give yourself a little time.
It doesn’t matter whether you buy a bike now or later; you’re the same person with the same finances before or after. Your priorities could look a little different after marriage but with all due respect you should be thinking about your future priorities now if you’re already thinking of marriage.