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Saturday, March 2, 2024
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GUY CALLS HIS DATE “IMPRESSIVE NEI NEI POK” WITH “VALLEY OF GODS”

A netizen shared how she was set up on a blind date with her aunt’s colleague’s son, who was advertised as “super smart, funny and a high-flyer at a Big 4 firm”.

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Here is her story:

“Really need to rant about my horror blind date, which was my aunt’s colleague’s son, advertised to me as “super smart”, “funny” and a “high-flyer at a Big 4 accounting firm”.

He turned out to be an insufferable elitist with a serious b–bs fetish.

Part 1: The Pure-Blood Rafflesian in the Valley of Gods

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We met at Subway, and as there was a queue we started chatting. Apparently, he was also from RJC, and then –

Him: Were you IP?

Me: No, I was from a neighborhood sec sch.

Him: Aha! So you are a half-blood!

Me: What?

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Him: You were not from RGS, so you are only a half-blood Rafflesian. I am pure-blood, I was from RI.

Me: (Nani tf?! Are we in Harry Potter??? But before I could respond – )

Him: Impressive cleavage by the way, really appreciate the effort. *creepy smile*

Me: Uh…thanks…

Him: You know, we guys call it the Valley of Gods, because from top-down or bottom-up, girls’ cleavages look like a valley, and because b–bs are made of men’s hopes and dreams, we name it Valley of Gods.

6 years of Raffles education, you say?

Part 2: 5,318,008 lettuce letters

At this point already texting 3 close friends to do the fake emergency call strategy, and then –

Waitress: Do you want any vegetables? Tomatoes? Lettuce?

Him: No I don’t want “leh-tuse”, I want “letters”.

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*turns to me and grins*

Me: *expands my texting to non-close friends*

Him: (after we got our food) Have to say, you really have a magnificent pair.

Me: Ummm…okay?

Him: Do you have a favorite number?

Me: No, do you?

Him: Yes! 5,318,008 – because upside down on a calculator it spells B–BIES.

*deranged laughter*

If any of you has had a worse date experience please share so I can feel better and not have to seek counseling.”

Editor’s note: Who were you on a date with? A primary school kid? The guy has the maturity of a 10-year-old…

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