So to start I M(22) have been with my soon to be ex gf Kate (fake name) F(21) for just shy of 3 years. Our relationship throughout the 3 years has been amazing. She had always been kind and supportive and very open and honest with me. We had dates often, our lovemaking life was great, we had very few arguments but when we did get into a disagreement we managed to communicate and come to an understanding before long. I believed our relationship to be healthy and loving but apparently I was wrong. Onto the story.
About a week ago, I had started to notice that Kate was becoming very touchy about me being on or around her phone, this was odd to me because not only had she always let me use her phone to make calls if mine was flat or I didn’t have immediate access to mine but she had also downloaded games for me to play on her phone so she could distract me when she wanted to watch her shows. Kate began snapping at me for asking to borrow her phone or snatching it out of my hand if i was so much as moving it away from the edge of the counter so it wouldn’t fall and whenever I questioned her behaviour she brushed it off and explained she was “just in a bad mood” her constant dismissal of my noticeable confusion began to annoy me so I asked her if she was hiding anything from me which lead to an argument about her saying I was accusing her of infidelity and not trusting her and began trying to get physical with me. She was very angry about it but I told her we would talk about it in the morning.
When we did talk about it she apologised for her behaviour and gave me her phone, I told her I trusted her and I didn’t need to go through it and to be frank I did trust her and I believed her outburst to be due to the ongoing stress at work which was clearly stupid of me.
The next day I noticed she had gotten a missed from my father. I had never known my father to like Kate or even have her contact at that, in fact I was convinced they both disliked each other. At any and every family event they would often argue or make snarky remarks at one another until we would have to leave due to the tense atmosphere they had created, so I decided to ask Kate why my father had called her, she physically froze and mumbled an excuse about it being my birthday soon and he had planned something but my father and I were never very close so I didn’t understand why he would but I played it off and decided to go about my day.
Then the following night I had texted her explaining that I had a late shift and I would be back around 10pm latest (which I did) we ended up being dismissed early due to an incident regarding our manager and a few staff and so I was heading home by 7pm I tried calling her but she had her phone off so I assumed it had gone flat or she had turned it off (which she does often at home)
when I made it to the carpark, I noticed my fathers car so I tried calling him but his phone was also turned off which I found odd because my mother likes his phone to be on so she can call him when she needs him (she’s handicapped)
I assumed my mother was with him so I went home and I opened the door quietly to surprise her as I haven’t seen her in a while and I was met with the sight of my girlfriend bent over the kitchen counter with my father behind her. They both froze and started profusely yelling and telling me it wasn’t what it looked like and that they could explain but I shut and locked the door from the outside (deadbolt) and made my way to a friends house.
Since then they’ve both been blowing up my phone apologising and begging me not to say anything to anyone and quite frankly I’m just disgusted. Disgusted in my father who is turning 60 next month and has my mother to take care of and disgusted in Kate who was getting railed by my father for who knows how long. I honestly just want to throw up and set them both on fire, but i’m most worried about how my mother will take this situation as she’s very dependent on my father and adores him.
How should I go about this? I don’t need closure or to confront them, I don’t want to know how their gross relationship started or how long it’s been going on for. I just need advice on how to approach the situation without causing a bigger mess than there is. Any advice is welcome. Thankyou for reading.