A guy shared how he likes guys but doesn’t dare to tell his parents about it, and that he is feeling very lonely and unloved.
Here is the story:
Inner thoughts from a closeted gay: I’m tired of life now.
Don’t get me wrong. I have a stable job which I just started this year, but I’m adapting well. I have good bosses and colleagues. I have a few groups of friends as pillars of support. I have a complete family.
Looking at all these, even though I yearn for a relationship, I would always remind and ask myself: do you even deserve it? What if you find a guy and introduce him to your family? Surely they won’t come to terms with their son being gay.
I know that, eventually I would need to break out of the closet and tell my parents, but I don’t know when is the right time?
On one end I’m feeling a bit lonely and want to feel loved, but on the other end, I don’t want to be a disappointment to my family. That is why I have grown to be more reclusive and quiet at home. I don’t talk much anymore. I don’t really eat dinner with my family anymore. Even after a meal with them, I would return to my room and just do my stuff. I try to stay away from them (but, like most Asian families, my room door is always open).
So what do I do? Grindr? Dating apps? Gay saunas? I have heard horror stories about these places and platforms, and I am not prepared for them. Any seniors out there willing to advise me?
Editor’s note: I think the first step you need to do is be proud of who you are and come out of the closet.