My (23F) boyfriend (26M) broke up with me but still wants to hook up with me.
We got together nearly 4 years ago. we hit it off, fell in love and moved in with one another due to the pandemic in 2020.
We adopted cats and signed a lease. It was pretty much happily ever after until we had an issue surrounding my insecurity, weight gain, and over all our emotional maturity.
We made it through that, grew together and made it another 2 and a half years. In August of 2022, he broke up with me because he was no longer in love with me and felt he never had time to just be himself.
He had been lying about his feelings for me for the 5 or so months leading up to that. We split up and I moved back home with my parents.
I would periodically go over to see my cats and we would “run into one another” and hook up.
During this process I woke up and started taking better care of my health, I lost a lot of weight! He grew more attracted to me and we got even better than ever in bed.
Around Christmas we decided to try again and just date not live together for a while. It went well. I was falling back in love with him and I thought he was too.
Until early May I noticed him being different and not meeting my needs, and being distant. I confronted him about it and he said he felt the way he felt in august again.
He said he feels chemistry and cares about me as a person and still likes my overall qualities, but he doesn’t want me as a life partner anymore.
I feel so heartbroken and stupid I let that happen to me again. He says he still wants to hookup though. I shouldn’t, it will hurt me too much emotionally, but I am just sad and confused.
I feel like he is just throwing me away and wants to use me for my body. I am having a hard time letting go of our relationship and our good memories of which there are many.
I doubt there is much future for us. We share the same friend group and everything has been super awkward. I don’t know what to do or say. I don’t know how to ask for closure and an apology. Feeling betrayed, used and heartbroken. Advice?