Hello everyone! I(24m) am in fact dying at the age of 24 of lung cancer. As lung cancer is fairly uncommon among under 25 year olds, especially ones with no history of tobacco use, all the signs unfortunately went under the radar until it was too late, my cancer has now progressed to Stage 4 and has spread to other parts of my body. I was given 6 months to one year to live.
I haven’t told anyone in my life. I have kept my diagnosis a secret for 2 months, and have tried to hide the effects of my treatments as much as possible. I don’t have much contact with my father (51m) and my mother died ironically the same way I am (not the same type of cancer but cancer nonetheless.) I am very close with my sister (18F) and my brothers (26m and 21m) and I know my diagnosis will absolutely break their hearts. I don’t know if I have the heart to tell them. Especially my girlfriend.
She’s the best thing to ever happen to me. I never believed in soulmates until I met her. I don’t know If I can bring myself to tell her, especially after I’ve kept it a secret for 2 months. I just keep imagining the look on her face when I tell her I will be dead within a year. We recently moved in together and she’s been talking about our future together. She wants to get married and have kids in the next few years apparently. Part of me wants to elope with her now but I think it would be selfish and cruel in all honesty. I don’t want to leave her alone, I love her so much.
For someone who could die at any minute, I think I have been quite positive about the whole thing. I can’t let it ruin my final months with my girlfriend, family and friends. I could die at any minute, but so could anyone else who’s not dying of cancer. Most people don’t know when they will die and I do that’s the only difference. I just hope I live until my 25th birthday because my gf is planning a surprise party with my siblings. She’s not the most stealthy person in the world lol. I hope I can see my family and friends together one last time.
I know some people may think it’s wrong that I haven’t told anyone about my diagnosis but I don’t want my final months to be a pity party or everyone acting as if I’m already dead. I saw the way everyone treated my mother before she passed and I refuse to be treated like that.
Thank you for listening to my rant lol.