My heart secretly breaks for my girlfriend because without me she has literally nobody and I know I’m not the best partner.
I’d like to preface this by warning you how shitty of a person I prove myself to be.
So, I have been with my girlfriend for close to a decade. She is my best friend. Lately however, I have not felt very close with her in a sense of wanting to be intimate.
It’s not that I am not attracted to her, but after being together for so long you start to think about what another woman would be like.
Im not a cheater, but if I was, I still don’t think I could act for that on that desire and here is why. She is so good to me.
Time and time she has proven through actions that she truly loves me. But there are times that I know I am neglecting her in terms of her feelings.
I sometimes isolate myself and ignore her texts, I have knowingly let her put herself in risky situations for a potential payoff….I’m basically really shitty sometimes.
I begin to HATE myself for ever treating this person anything less than perfect. I can be selfish to this person at times, inconsiderate, amongst other things, and even tough i don’t do these things with malicious intent, I look back afterward and see me for who I was being.