My (24f) best friend (26m) of 12 years is a great person with many desirable traits. He is educated and has a good career and I’m really proud of him for his accomplishments. Since we were kids I’ve always noticed he had really bad hygiene habits, but chalked it up to him being a teenage boy. Now that we’re older I’ve seen that his hygiene has not improved with age. He goes to the gym at least 3 times per week but never showers more than once per week, never brushes his teeth, and only does laundry when the clothes are completely stiff. I’ve dropped little hints like if we stay the night somewhere together I’ll ask if he packed shower supplies, and in the mornings I’ll offer to leave my toothpaste out if he wants to use it. I’ve found myself no longer inviting him places because it’s embarrassing when he shows up greasy, smelly and with an inch thick of plaque on his teeth.
Last month he told me he had a crush on one of my newer friends and asked if she was single. I told him that she was, but only recently single and isn’t looking for anything right now. He wouldn’t take no for an answer and decided to contact her himself to ask her out. When she declined, she lied and said she was seeing someone. He knew that one of us was lying to him. When he confronted me I told him that everyone I know thinks he is disgusting because of his hygiene, they don’t want to be near him much less date him. He denied having bad hygiene, and said he does shower and brush his teeth. He left, and hasn’t talked to me in over a month insisting I need to apologize and set the record straight to everyone we know. I think I’m doing him a favor in the long run and he should appreciate my honesty because he is the one who confronted me about why I lied to him about my friend.