My girlfriend had a miscarriage and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders
Funny part is I don’t even feel bad for how I feel. My (soon to be ex) girlfriend and I are both child free. I told her I would never even consider ever having a child and she was on board.
I got really drunk at a friends wedding (she was completely sober, hadn’t had even a sip of alcohol all night), and we ended up in bed together. I asked her the next morning if we used a condom and she said no because we were both “not thinking straight”. I asked her what her excuse was for “not being able to think straight” when she was completely sober and we never do it without a condom. She shrugged and walked out of the room. About 6 weeks later, lo and behold, she’s pregnant.
I felt my whole world crumble the second she told me she was pregnant. It takes two to make a baby, and I made my bed. I should’ve gotten a vasectomy when I had the chance.
Anyway, I went to the doctors appointments, participated in whatever she told me to, bought baby stuff and all. I wasn’t happy about it but I guess I’d come to terms with it.
My girlfriend came home one day and I showed her the baby clothes I bought. She then started tearing up and said she knew she did the right thing.
She went on to confess she knew even if she got pregnant on purpose, I’d be happy because she saw how much I loved taking care of my niece.
I got livid and told her it’s not the same thing and she had no right to do that without my consent. I left the house for a few days but decided to come back after the billions of calls my family left me talking about how my behavior would cause my girlfriend to have a miscarriage.
I pretended to be fine with her (kind of hate her guts), but she believed I forgave her. Last week, she had a miscarriage (no it wasn’t bc of the stress I gave her, contrary to what my parents believe).
Honestly? I feel alive again. I don’t have to be tied to her or a child for the rest of my life. She’s grieving really hard right now and I don’t want to make it worse by breaking up with her, but I’m definitely going to get it over with soon enough.
I know I’ll probably be called an a-hole for this post, but I’m not sure I care. I feel like this is a second chance at life.