A netizen shared how he has multiple personalities that he uses for different people, and that he doesn’t have any close friends.
Here is the story
I have multiple personalities I use for different people. I don’t have any close friends; I am sick of it and now only want like two new friends and a girlfriend.
Almost no one starts conversations with me, those who do I am not very fond of.
In regards to girlfriends, I want a best friend who holds my hand sometimes and actually texts me; if I had a wife, I would basically want a cute roommate who is nice to live with.
With friends, I want to homies with whom I can compete and respect me.
I get along with people really well, but I don’t have any motivation to be their friend; no one seems to like me enough; they could just be acting polite.
I used to think I wanted a massive friend circle, but now I think I only need like three. I have different personalities for different people, and it is hard to make any meaningful connections. My thinking that having a lot of friends has gotten me nothing but a bunch of acquaintances who think I’m weird.
I always think of reasons why this person doesn’t even fit any criteria of being my friend, its hard for me to ignore small things, I want to give up on most of the people who I want to be friends with.
At school, I have a submissive front, so that people don’t dislike how strange I am; now, no one really respects me.
One exception to this is one of my seatmates; she is really nice, and I get along with her really well. she is cute and funny and very orderly, while I am very random, mostly speaking through my actions.
We get down to some fun antics, but there is one problem.. she is the same as me, having impostor syndrome, plus she has a very, very complicated life and upbringing. Sometimes, I think I like her, and she understands me, but most of the time, I think she isn’t my type for why I am disappointed in myself.
She is a very positive part of my life, (She has way more real friends than me, or possibly she could feel trapped by playing characters all the time too) I know very little about myself, my teacher has an art assignment about what your best trait is, or something and the only thing that describes me is a mirror, because all I do is mimic.
My highest goal is to find one character who I will play for the rest of my life, even if I only have a few people who care about me. I have developed a lot of apathy for most things; however, I still feel lonely. Having multiple personalities for other people is difficult; this was great to vent.