How can I develop a sense of humour and be funny to attract people?
I saw many girls posting on their dating apps that they like people with a sense of humour.
I lack this humour and think I take things in life a little too seriously. I can make convos but have been told a few times I sound boring sometimes.
I tried looking up jokes online and tried telling to my family and friends to test it out. Kinda failed I guess since no one laughed.
I always admired people who can crack up jokes or pick out smth funny from a situation on the spot without any prepping. They sound so natural and and always can make people laugh. How do they develop this humour?
I want to learn this skill as it is useful not just to attract the opposite sex but it will also help me make friends and build relationships a lot easier. But I have no idea how to start.
Also wanted to ask the ladies- is a sense of humour really that important for a long term relationship?
- Please do not just regurgitate jokes wholesale. It does not work like this. In fact it makes the conversation extremely cringe. Boring conversation is better than cringe conversation.
If you’re not naturally funny, maybe that’s just how you are. Perhaps find someone who appreciates what you have to offer.
Anyway from what I’ve noticed, humour usually requires being quick witted and observant. You need to pick up on cues as soon as they occur in the conversation, draw connections to a humourous topic and link them well. Comedic timing helps too, knowing when is appropriate and impactful to crack a joke. Confidence is also a factor, since you do risk the joke falling flat, so try to get comfortable laughing off failed attempts.
Edit: I thought of a dating app bio for you. “No sense of humour. You won’t laugh with me, but you can laugh at me.”
- Organic humour can’t really be taught though – it’s about tone and timing mostly. But perhaps you could start by trying to take yourself – and life in general – a little less seriously. Try to see the funny side of everyday situations. Just don’t try to be funny at the expense of others.
- You don’t learn humor by looking up jokes online. STOP.
Humor is a very difficult thing to explain.
Humor is hard to master because often it requires doing things that are unexpected without coming off as too weird. In dating and in work relationships humor is effective because it allows you to demonstrate 1. That you have a high level of understanding of a situation & it’s norms 2. You are confident enough to thwart a norm or present the situation in an unexpected way. 3. You are aware of the other people present enough as to do all this in a way that isn’t creepy or cruel.
The lowest barrier to entry form of humor (beyond potty humor) is probably prop comedy. Prop comedy involves doing something silly with the objects around you. This can be a bit of a class clown thing, and though it is a good way to learn how to be funny it’s not very classy. But if you can pull it of confidently it can be charming.
Similarly, puns/word play involve playing with the words that come up in conversation by using rhymes or homophones to create unexpected interpretations. Bonus points if the puns you make are still relevant to the situation & are not just random. If you don’t have a good vocabulary, this might not be for you.
Story telling is another way to add humor to your conversations. Just remember funny things that happened to you, and recount them with excitement.
You might want to try dead pan humor. Thats when you say something unexpected/ridiculous/strange and pretend like it’s normal by keeping a neutral expression. It’s funny because of the contrast.
Teasing is also a form of humor that may work in dating but probably not in work relationships. But be careful to never cross the line into actually hurting someone’s feelings. You have to allow yourself to be vulnerable to being teased too. And you have to make it clear there are no ill intentions.
Wit is perhaps the most prized form of humor in dating and other relationships. I don’t know how to explain wit. It requires being very aware of what is happening in a social context, reading between the lines and playing around with the conversation using all the other forms of humor I mentioned.