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Saturday, December 10, 2022
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GUY JUST WANTED TO SHARE HIS ACHIEVEMENTS, ACCUSED OF BEING “HAO LIAN”

Hao Lian vs Sharing achievement

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Been going to therapy to address some childhood trauma and deconstructing the personalities that I have created because of that. One of the things that I remember was learning to stop sharing my achievement.

I learnt early on as a child that sharing achievement earn envy from my peers. People would call me hao lian and even teachers tell me to stop because the other students complained.

I realize that sharing my achievement is actually my way of gauging myself and strive for self improvement. Because improvement is a constant journey. You achieve one checkpoint, there will always be a next checkpoint, or else you will stagnate in place. It was kinda my was of communicating “Hey, I achieved this. Is this good? What’s the next mission?”

But I didn’t realize that sharing my achievement to the wrong people will actually hurt them emotionally at the time. I didn’t mean to bring them down. I was always happy to share my experience so people can follow in my footsteps, or even critique and point out there are better footsteps to follow or make adjustments to my current footsteps so to make more improvement.

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I now have the choice to see myself as a hao lian person growing up or I just grew up in an envious environment that demands conformity.

Just wondering, are there people out there that grew up in an environment where you get to share your achievements growing up without malice and people give you constructive criticism instead of just criticizing you out of jealousy?

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