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Monday, July 22, 2024


Hi everyone. I’ve been doing a bit of online dating of late and it seems that a lot of women I encounter get a little antsy when I suggest coffee or tea for our first date.


Is this normal? It gets a little demoralising, to be honest.

A lot of them suggest dinner, some insinuate that they want to be treated to a meal at least, others outright say they expect a treat.

My intention is just to see if we get along in real life and I thought a chat over coffee was a good way of doing that (it’s much harder to talk when your mouth is full and I personally dislike having to swallow my food quickly to respond to another person).

Is coffee really such a bad idea for a first date? Should I be open to dinner? Do you have any good date ideas?


Thanks in advance!

Netizens’ comments

  1. Good that you have already filtered out those just looking for their free meal ticket.
  2. No, if they suggest or insist on dinner or a treat, they are most likely gold diggers.
    It’s perfectly okay to suggest a meetup over coffee first, which is a safe way for both persons to assess and decide if they should proceed further or back out.
    I didn’t encounter much resistance with coffee first dates, so perhaps you’re asking the wrong way or just plain unlucky to have gotten the gold diggers. Either way, keep trying and keep honing the approach till you get the coffee dates. Good luck!
  3. “foodie call” is a thing. Don’t fall for it no matter how gorgeous she is.
    These women have a long list of cafes they wanna eat at and you’re just gonna be one of those sponsors.
  4. Politely tell them to fk off. Those expecting a treat are just camping for free meals.
  5. Here’s a rule for men but in general dating. You pay your own food the other party pay their own. Dw pay then pay your own and walk out
    I’ve heard of girls getting on dating apps solely to get free meals. Legit finding those nice guys losers say some bull and keep leading him on to get more free meals.
  6. As someone (F) who used to use dating apps in my mid 20s, I never once requested for free meals lol. Then also, they also quite thickskin hor? For saying outright they are to be treated lol. Like who are they to be treated to a meal sia.
    Though for those who requested dinner (but not requesting to be treated and hopefully is not expecting to be treated), it’s understandable. Because dinner is longer and also shows us your eating preference more than coffee dates.
    So for me, I’ll usually go for 5-15sgd per pax places for first dates and that’s also cause I also use it as a way to subtly jio for first dates by sharing that I feel like trying this place that an article reviewed on etc and whether they wanna try as well hehe.
    But it’s definitely not wrong to go for coffee dates either la. Your preference. For me, technically both is fine but I’m more of a food person than drink? And the topics I can bring about, like “oooo this place not bad but I know of another place lagi better” haha

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