I (34M) was left to pay the dinner bill for gf (29F) and 6 of her other girl friends
So this happened many months ago when my gf and I were only officially dating for 2-3 weeks at the time. We had been talking for 4 months leading up to officially dating.
My gf told me we were going to her friend’s bday dinner at a Chinese restaurant, and she told me to bring cash to split the check with other guys at the table. It’s the banquet family style dinner where typically 10 people sit at a table and 7-8 courses come out. The birthday girl had about 50 guests, so 5 tables in total.
Keep in mind, this is the first time I have been to a bday dinner like this. When we arrived, the table we were assigned to was me, my gf, and 6 other girls. No other guys at the table. Where the other tables had plenty of guys mixed around.
So the way these dinners apparently go, each table gets a bill for the food served at their table, and the guys sitting at the table will split it with other guys at that table. If it’s a table with only girls, the girls split the bill amongst themselves.
However, being the only guy at my table, I was left with a $700 bill after tip. The waiters basically walked the bill up to me with their emv device and shoved it in my face. My gf was next to me and didn’t say anything, she just watched me pay. Then her gf’s thanked me and that was it.
I felt taken advantage tbh. Had I invited people out, I would have gladly paid the bill. I told my gf days after my displeasure seeing that we had only been dating for a few weeks. She told me that it’s sucks, but that’s just how these types of banquet dinners work. And that in the future if there’s another dinner and I’m not there, someone else’s bf will be paying for her. But I don’t really see paying it forward is a valid excuse.
Honestly, I felt like it’s a scam her and her friends have so girls never have to pay for these bday dinners trying to get nice guys to pay.
I am fortunate enough where the cost of the dinner is by no means a financial issue, but I work hard for my money. I felt like a gun was put to my head and I had to pay. I would look cheap and embarrass my gf if I didn’t pay for them. Which my gf even admitted she would have felt had I not paid.
I thought about so many different scenarios that would have been appropriate with the position I was put in. Should her gf’s have offered to pay? Should my gf have paid and split it with her gf’s? Should I only have paid for me and my gf that night?