I’m so sick of being guilt tripped by married women
It’s only happened 3 times. But still… Why am I the bad guy for saying “I’m sorry, I can’t date you if you’re married”??? What the actual f? Why can’t I just want to be in a happy monogamous relationship with someone who loves me? Am I so messed up for not wanting the woman I’m with to go home to another guy?
First girl didn’t mention anything in her tinder bio. She got upset that I didn’t want to be her secret affair. Oh well, we only went on a date and a half. It was super awkward in the restaurant when she said “I’m here to cheat”, after I went on a tirade about how awful cheaters are. She clearly was hoping for a different answer to “what do you think about cheaters?”.
Second girl was one of my best friends. She was “in the process” of divorcing her husband forever. She’d cry about how much she loved him, then get mad I wouldn’t f her. He mistreats her, but she won’t leave him … But to her it’s my fault we aren’t dating?
Then, finally, this week an old flame texted me out of the blue. We were a little flirty until she told me about her husband and kid. We kept talking, mostly just about life. Very dry acquaintance type talk. Until she said she loves her husband, but as a friend. She wants me to be her boyfriend, but she won’t leave her family. Now she’s mad that “I don’t want her”. Of course I don’t! I’m not going to take you on a date and then go home sad/lonely while you sleep with your husband.
Why do I feel like such a shitty person for saying no? If you’re poly, that’s cool. As long as everyone is on the same page, you do you. But I’m not on that page. I’m not poly. I’ve been cheated on. I’ll never cheat or help someone cheat. God, I’m so tired of being yelled at for that.
Netizens’ comments
- If they can cheat with you, they can cheat on you.
- Don’t hop in the passenger’s seat of that guilt trip. It’s a one way. You deserve a better, healthier relationship road.
- So back in 2019 I became single again. First time since 2017.
I matched with a girl on there whose husband is disabled and a wheelchair. She’s looking for fun. I get that and I sympathise, but I matched with her both in 2017 and 2019 and I asked her the same question.
‘Does your husband know that you’re on here and looking for partners? Is he okay with it?’
Both times she went off on me about how her husband is in a wheelchair, can’t please her in bed and she has needs.
I reminded her that that wasn’t my question. I’d only asked if he knew she was doing this. He did not. I politely reminded her of her vows (in sickness and in health, until death do us part’ and calmly just walked away. I expect she is still on there. - They can try and take you on the guilt trip, but you don’t have to go along. If I had a penny for every married man who hit on or harassed me because I didn’t want to be a side piece, I’d be able to buy a decently sized flat. The only people who should feel bad here are the people stepping out.