Hi all, This is as much an ask for advice as a rant.
I feel like when I sleep with my gf, and honestly this has been my experience with the overwhelming majority of women I dated/slept with, is very one-sided. I’m talking about the physical and mental effort that both parties put into the bedroom part of the relationship and the pleasure they get in return.
I’m a pleaser, I thoroughly enjoy getting my partners off but rarely do they seem to return the same energy. An overwhelming majority of the time they are more of a willing participant, who is along for the ride, instead of an active participant.
I have to set the mood, make sure that she is not stressed etc. I have to initiate an overwhelming majority of the time. I have to do most of the foreplay. I do most of the physical work and what I get in return is usually very lacklustre.
I love doing foreplay but the one-sidedness sometimes makes me resent it. I feel like I’m a male prostitute sometimes.
All of the women I slept with get to “come” which honestly make me jealous. Not just one, multiple and for hours on end if they let me. Literal brain-melting experiences (their words, not mine).
As a guy, I’m trying my hardest to last as long as possible and when I come, it isn’t even all that great. I come pretty quickly but I can go multiple rounds.
The first round easily feels the best but it is over so quickly that I can barely enjoy it. After I bust my arousal sinks a lot, often I can’t come during the second round and I barely feel anything.
It feels like I got the short end of the stick. Am I doing something wrong? Is this just the way things are?