How to break the news about my interracial relationship to my racist father
I am Chinese and my girlfriend is Indian. Both our parents were immigrants, and both of us are citizens and were raised in Singapore. We have been dating for 4 years, and I want to marry her. I have already met her family, and although it was difficult for them to accept it at first, they have already come to accept our relationship.
The problem is my father is extremely racist, and I am not sure how to break the news to him. I would really like it if my father could accept our relationship and attend our wedding. However, I am almost certainly expecting him to get extremely angry and spiteful towards me and my girlfriend’s family.
I love my girlfriend a lot, and I don’t want my father to say anything that could hurt her or her family. But at the same time, I love my father a lot too. He has sacrificed a lot to raise me and my sibling himself, and cares a lot about our education and future. I care a lot about him too.
I’m prepared to hear all sorts of racist remarks from him to try and persuade me to change my mind. I’m planning to tell him that I am not going to change my mind regardless of what he thinks. Nonetheless, I would still like to continue being a part of his life and care for him as he enters his retirement.
I really want him to see that racism is wrong. Even though my girlfriend already knows about his behaviour, I don’t want him to leave a bad impression on her family. First impressions matter a lot, and his attitude might create tension between our families in the future. I just want everyone to be happy. Harmony is really important to me.
I don’t know how to convince him that his racist beliefs are wrong. Being direct about it is definitely not going to work. He is a very stubborn and unreasonable person. It is practically impossible for someone like him to change the way he thinks. Does anyone have any experience with this? I would really appreciate if anyone could share how they were able to talk some sense into someone like that.