I (m21) slapped my girlfriend (f20) out of reflex when i woke up
I feel horrible for what i did. How do i even start this?
Let me just start by saying that i would never slap her intentionally. Let alone hurt her in any way. My girlfriend has a very libido unlike me and therefore she is the one to initiate most of the time.
It took me a few years to fully trust her but she was such a loving and caring person who understood my trauma and was always able to control herself.
Yesterday evening she wanted to get intimate with me and i told her i wasn’t in the mood right now and then i turned around. I woke up in the middle of the night and she was trying to go down on me.
My heart started beating really fast. All the anxiety i felt came back and before i realized i slapped her so hard she fell of my side of the bed.
I immediately realized what i just did. The only thing i thought about was that i slapped her. She held her cheek while looking at me with a shocked face before starting to cry.
I wanted to comfort her and apologize but she ran out of the room into the bathroom where she cried her eyes out and then she went to sleep on the couch.
I apologized repeatedly but she refuses to talk to me. I feel so bad. I know i am a horrible person and there is no excuse for this. But what can i do so that she speaks to me again? Is there anything i can do so she forgives me?