My friend (22f) and I (25m) have been sleeping together for months. No strings attached. It’s been good, but now she wants me to be more passionate when we do it, almost to the point of making love.
Is that possible when there’s no romantic feelings involved?
Last night I gave it a shot. The passionate approach. It was weird. Like I was sleeping with my ex gf. The intimate eye contact, the intense kissing, the hand holding during missionary, etc.
It didn’t feel very no strings attached. Can friends with benefits “make love” without actually being in love?
- You’re treating the act of romance and the presence of romance as the same thing but they’re not.
If someone enjoys the idea of “being screwed like a prostitute” does that means that they desire to be one? Probably not. They’re talking about a form of it, not a state of existence.
It may be that your lover just prefers “passion” every once in a while as a change in style from however the two of you usually do it. You’re probably overthinking this. But also: if you don’t like it, you can tell her so.
- Passion with the stuff you mentioned like tons of making out, frequent and intense eye contact, holding hands, etc is absolutely possible without “romantic feelings” involved. I can see why you would associate those details with being in love vs with no strings attached, but I personally really don’t see why you’d leave out such pleasant and especially arousing parts of it just because you aren’t in love or boyfriend/girlfriend.
For me they’re pretty essential to feel interesting, fun, and keep my interest going while at it, otherwise it feels pretty robotic. I like stimulating all of my senses and my partner’s. My current casual partner and I aren’t a “thing” or in real love and since the first time we hooked up those same things took a major part in the action ; passionate is just more fun, there is no shame to it and specific acts don’t equal to a commitment to a relationship type or something along those lines.