I made a pass at a bartender and now I can never go back to that bar.
I was a regular there. The bartender was a lovely young woman. I’d go in regularly before closing, chat, have a nice evening.
I misconstrued her kindness for flirting. And was emboldened by her never telling me to stop with my flirting.
One night, she kept me at the bar to keep her company while she closed up. Which meant she kept pouring small pulls of beer for both of us for an extra hour; I was WAAAAY drunker than I anticipated getting.
She asked me to walk her to her taxi and as she opened the door and turned to me to say good night, I leaned towards her to kiss her.
I wasnt thinking clearly and was running on mixed signals, i thought she was trying to kiss me.
So I leaned in. And she recoiled. And loudly rejected my advance. I didn’t put a hand on her, just leaned in. And yeah, I get it.
So, I bolted. Turned, walked as fast as I could in as straight a fashion as I could, all the way home. I apologized the next morning over FB. She read the message but never replied. So I have zero plans to bother her at the bar, even to try to apologize again. I have no face to show up there anymore.
Netizens’ comments
- If you like the bar and are a regular, just go in and apologize to her. Just say something like, “I was drunk and I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable. It won’t happen again.”
- Why can’t you go back? Sure, it’s awkward… you hit on her but she wasn’t keen… but it also sounds like a pretty normal misunderstanding that happens. Unless you assaulted her. Doesn’t sound like it though. So be an adult and go back to the bar and face the awkwardness. You could even go back and ask her if she minds you being there. What are you scared of?
- The only thing I’m seeing a lot that I disagree with is maybe don’t mention how drunk you were. Technically we’re all adults and are responsible for ourselves (Of course we slip up from time to time). I just think she would appreciate an in-person apology more if you left out something that could seem like an “excuse”