I’m tired of being a “man”. As the oldest male in a traditional Chinese family you might think I have it easy or as the saying goes “重男轻女”. Which means boys are favoured over girls. I feel this isn’t the case at all and it feels like the other way around.
I’m tasked to do so many things which includes but not limited to: taking care of certain household expenses, occasionally being a chauffeur for my family such as bringing grandparents to polyclinic etc, do basic household chores, buy/cook food, deal with “manly stuff” like fixing sinks, computers, cabinets whatsoever, pay for my own stuff including tuition fees and personal expenses.
All these feels really suffocating and sometimes I wished I was born as a girl. My sister gets her tuition fees paid by our parents, she doesn’t do basic chores (heck she doesn’t even know how to change her bedsheets), but gets all the attention from guys and her boyfriend. Yes, she looks like a decent girl that might make some heads turn. Even had guys coming up to our house and giving things like cakes to her etc. She goes out every other day to meet her friends. Meanwhile, I’m just here trying to survive financially and try my best for this family.
I’m not sure what do I even like at this point in time, the past few years or so was a real blur to me. Even felt like I should have signed on to avoid all these issues. At least in the army, I had friends who cared about me even though we were suffering. Uni isn’t forgiving as well, I’m struggling to stay afloat in my course (it’s a competitive one)
Mom tells me to man up. Dad doesn’t do much and is focused on work and his friends, drinking etc. He basically just listens to my mom. I never felt so unloved and uncared for at this stage of life. I didn’t even know how it happened. It’s like adulthood just slapping me right in the face. I feel like I’m just another statistic/investment plan to my family.
Don’t get more wrong, I love my family and I want the best for them. But what about me? Does no one care about my feelings? Anyone in the same boat as me? Or faced similar issues? I’m really tired of being the go-to man in the family.