my (18f) boyfriend (18m) made a comment about my body and i can’t get over it
last night my boyfriend said “you looked really fat today” on the phone. i didn’t know what to say so i hung up and he texted me saying he was joking and didn’t mean it but i know he did because i have gained a little weight over the past month since i haven’t been able to go to the gym because of my exams.
just to be clear i am not overweight or unhealthy i wouldn’t even say i’m on the chubby side i’m pretty fit but like i said i did gain a couple kgs.
we joke around with each other about all types of stuff but this wasn’t a joke. i knew i looked bigger than usual. i kept going to the bathroom every 10 minutes to try to fix my clothes and make sure i look fine.
i couldn’t look him in the eyes because i felt so insecure about myself and for him to make a comment like that just broke me. what’s worse is he told me i looked pretty in person that same day.
i don’t think i’ll ever be able to eat in front of him or let him touch me or see me without clothes on again without feeling insecure. he keeps trying to reassure me and compliment me but it feels like he’s just trying to make up for what he said.
Netizens’ comments
- Cut and run babe. That was dipping his toe in the water to see how you would take being insulted. Don’t take it. Tell him he’s right, you have gained some weight and you’d like to lose whatever he weighs. Then dump him.
- Where do these people come from? Do they not have any social awareness? Did he have a head injury? What an absolute idiot.
Personally, the damage is done and there would be no amount of coming back from this. But he is younger and presumably a doofus, so if he is otherwise okay, let him play the apology out and see how meaningful it is.
If you suspect this is purposeful negging, then you have a completely different problem. - Personal experience from someone in their thirties, this is a lost cause. I let too many guys when I was younger get away with that. They’d say they were joking or that I was being too sensitive, or they were letting me know for my health.
No matter what the excuse, it is absolutely never okay to say something like that to your partner. He was deliberately insulting you. A joke is supposed to be funny. That wasn’t funny. It was hurtful. His goal could have been so see what he could get away with manipulation wise (overtime get worse and break down your self esteem), to make you feel bad about yourself image wise so you’d lose weight for him, or just to be a turd.