I lied to a clingy girl I was seeing and told her I was a flat-earther so she’d leave me alone.
It’s true. We met almost 2 years ago. We talked on and off, more so on than off, would infrequently see each other. She was an alcoholic. I love my booze and when I have idle hands I admit I find myself self indulging a bit more than anyone should.
But it wasn’t like a I need to start drinking first thing in the morning. But she was aggressive about it, like the way someone complain about needing coffee immediately when they wake up she needed alcohol.
Anyways I can’t explain better other than that if I ended things with her I feel like it’d be really hard on her. Like make things worse for her.
So over the period of almost 2 months I was dropping small hints to why flat earth theory is more than a theory and is actual fact and everything is a global conspiracy.
In the beginning it started as a joke but she believed me and I didn’t bother to tell her I was joking because I assumed she knew I was joking.
Then some days later she expressed concern and I realized she actually thinks that I think the earth is flat. So I pretty much just went with it thinking it was funny and at times forget I even made those jokes.
Then I got the idea maybe it will be easier on her if she left because she thought I think the earth is flat. So I just let it grow and flourish and things kind of worked themselves out.
She was clingy, annoying and a raging drunk but damn she was really good in bed. But there’s other crazy women out there for me to meet and then lie to them that I’m a flat-earther when I’m too much of a coward or lazy to break up with them.
All this transpired by now over a year ago.