I (28m) started having s- in my mid teens, but stopped having s- in my early 20s, specifically after my first real relationship came to an end.
I was 22. I never thought it would affect me as bad as it did for as long as it did.
But from 22 until recently, I’ve been avoiding relationships, even casual s-. As you can imagine, I did what most people do when they’re alone and ‘feeling it’, I ‘DIY-ed’. For 6 long years.
A few weeks ago I finally said enough is enough and decided to start dating again. After several unsuccessful dates and almost reverting back to my antisocial ways, I managed to make a connection.
She was cute, funny, covered in freckles and I loved it. Towards the end of our first date we agreed to continue the fun at her place.
Based on our body language, s- was definitely on the table. One of my biggest fears was ‘finishing’ almost instantly due to the 6 years of zero s-.
However, the opposite became my biggest challenge. I wasn’t ‘finishing’ at all. I could practically see the seasons change while I was ‘doing it’.
That’s how long it felt. After thrusting longer than I’ve ever thrusted in my life, I pulled out and apologized to my date.
She seemed as relieved as I was to stop. We were both complaining about being sore. I explained my 6 year situation and made her understand that she did nothing wrong. It was all me.
She understood and said it must be “death grip”. I never heard of it before, but when she explained it to me, it made sense. I Googled how to overcome death grip and the number one treatment plan was ‘DIY’ less.
I opted for not ‘DIY-ing’ at all and guess what? It didn’t help. No money shot. I had s- with the same freckle-faced girl for 3 weeks and I think her ‘cat’ really hates me.
Yesterday we were supposed to meet up but she called to tell me she’s no longer interested in seeing me because I’ve made it uncomfortable for her to walk properly.
I ‘DIY-ed’ this morning just to see if I can still ‘finish’ and the answer is yes.
I’ve literally trained my ‘bird’ to hate s and now I seemed to have lost a potential girlfriend.