My wife (Anna) lost both her parents when she was young and after that was raised by her maternal grandparents until she went to uni. Anna was an only child and her parents didn’t have siblings either. None of her grandparents are living at this point either.
We’ve been married 3 years and she rarely talks about her family. I on the other hand have a huge family with 16 nieces and nephews. Naturally, we spend all holidays, birthdays, and celebrations with my family. Which works great as they all love Anna, and she loves them back.
Recently we had dinner with another couple we’re close to, Kyle and Lisa (not their real names). They were talking about how deciding who’s family to see and when is such a challenge and no matter who they spend time with they feel like the other family constantly guilt trips them.
The conversation was definitely bringing the mood down as Kyle and Lisa both looked stressed. I thought I’d try to lighten the mood a bit and said they should have just done like me and marry someone who’s parents and grandparents are all dead so there’s never any argument over who to visit.
I was trying to make a dumb joke to make everyone smile but it backfired. Kyle kind of got it and said, good tip I’ll keep that in mind for next time.
Anna practically ran out of the restaurant, Lisa followed Anna and called me and Kyle both a-holes as she left. Lisa also later texted us both she’s staying at the house with Anna for the night and suggested I either sleep on the sofa at her and Kyle’s place or get a hotel for a few days.
I wasn’t trying to offend anyone or upset Anna, my intent was to lighten up a tense atmosphere and give everyone a laugh. Now, Anna won’t speak to me or respond to my texts, Lisa is the most pissed off I’ve ever seen her, and Kyle is the only one who sees any humor in my joke but still wants me to apologize to Anna and find a way to make it up to her.