my ex was insecure, stalker tendencies, manipulative, egoistic. Think he very good looking when he’s barely average. Act rich but actually no money. I suspect he dumped his rich ex when he decided to chase me and the ex was the one who sponsored his car and lifestyle. Very odd and suspicious that he had to sell his Rolex and car after we are together. And even odder he wants to set up a savings account with me when I’m the only one working and putting money in and him drawing it out. He wants to set up many things together with me. It’s like the more attachment together, the more secure he feels.
He claim he can’t find a job because he got to look after me and make sure I behave? Threaten me that he feel like beating up my male colleagues when they walk next to me or even talk to me at my office lobby. He would immediately walk to me and put his arm on my shoulder to walk off as a way of showing off. Its embarrassing when he’s suspicious and angry, grab my phone in public and run away, expecting me to chase after him. It’s like I did him wrong and got caught.
I don’t know why I tolerated this for months. So often I cried angry tears till my face have red dots all over and took days so subside. I was so frustrated. He was always finding things to argue. We would have happy moments then suddenly he would check my phone and accuse me of cheating or something. He cut off my friends. He deleted and blocked my best guy friend’s number. He tried to turn my mother against me. He also painted me in a bad light towards his own parents. It got to a point I don’t even know why are we still together. Towards the end there was no love left. We broke and patch so many times it was a tiring cycle. I had enough. When he started another episode again, I ended it and never looked back. He still acted like nothing happened. He refused to get it and harassed me for weeks. Until he finally understood we are really over, he started to stalk me. I asked him he doesn’t act like he love me at all so why he still refuse to let go. Then I realised it’s pointless trying to talk sense to him. He says its my fault that I drove him mad.
He would call me non stop when my house light is on. He would call non stop my house and phone number throughout the day and night. He would pop by and throw things into my house. He heavily drowned all those items with his cologne. I think he was trying to make me miss him which turned me off more. He would call my family, telling them he got something to return me, only that the item is basically useless and his. He never returned me my stuff back. I finally moved and changed all contacts to end the torture.
It’s been 5 years since and I am still traumatized. He never raised a hand at me but the verbal and emotional torture affected me so much. If you think it’s easy to move on and leave, its not. It took time to realise what the relationship had become. It will take even more time to heal from it. I still shudder and avoid areas where I am afraid of bumping into him. Last I recall, he is still spiteful that I left him. His frail ego couldn’t face rejection. I cut off friends who update me about how much he thinks of me. I cut off friends who know both of us. Ignorance will be bliss.
People who are insecure, crazy and paranoid shouldn’t get into relationships. You’ll burn everyone around you because you don’t know how to love. I know I am at fault. I wished I had the courage to end the torture earlier. I wished I saw the red flags earlier too.
Possessiveness is not love. Its ownership and power.