My dad [38M] is marrying my ex-girlfriend [26F].
This is all such a mess and I really don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about it. For some backstory, my dad isn’t my biological father.
He and my egg donor started dating when I was 2 and got married when I was 4, and then got divorced when I was 16.
Honestly, I was far closer to my dad than I was to my egg donor, and my egg donor would regularly mistreat both of us.
After the divorce, he tried to stay in touch with me, but my egg donor purposely isolated him from me because she was so mad that he finally became confident enough in himself to escape from her.
As soon as I graduated from school when I was 21, I completely cut off contact with her and reached out to him again. Even though it had been over 5 years since we last spoke at that point, I was very happy to have in my life again.
My ex-girlfriend and I dated while I was in school. I was pretty lowkey about the relationship because I was pretty sure if my mom ever found out, she would also cut me off completely.
We started dating when I was 18 and dated for almost 3 years. I also never told my dad about her, since we broke up only a few months after we reconnected. He did comfort me through the breakup, but he never met her or really knew anything about her.
That brings us to last night. My dad and I have a standing dinner date for every other Wednesday, but we’ve both been busy for the last month, so I haven’t seen him since before Thanksgiving.
He told me that he would be bringing his girlfriend to tag along, and I have to admit that I was both sad because it wouldn’t be just the two of us like it normally is, but also excited to finally meet her.
Unfortunately, once I reach the restaurant, I’m absolutely floored to see my dad sitting there with my ex-girlfriend. I’m absolutely shocked to see them together, and when my dad introduces her to me, he introduces her as his fiance, and tells me that he wanted me to be the first to know.
Apparently they got engaged two weeks ago, but hadn’t told anyone except for her parents (who I’ve even met before). I must have had a shocked look on my face, because he starts going into this whole thing about how he knows that I might be uncomfortable with him dating a girl who’s so close in age to me and how the age gap concerned him too, especially because of my egg donor.
Well, I would never compare him to her. The entire time I was talking to him though, I was staring right at my ex-girlfriend in complete shock.
It ended up being way too weird for me, so I just told them that I needed to go after like 5 minutes. My dad texted me again today telling me how was so sorry to ambush me with that information, and that he was sorry that it came off the way it had.
He told me again that he understood if the age gap made me uncomfortable, but he hoped I didn’t think he was some kind of creep for dating a woman so much younger than him.
He then told me that he felt like he was truly happy for the first time in the last 20 years, and he hoped that I could come to accept this, even if it took me a long time.
I, on the other hand, am just completely lost. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know that we dated, and I really don’t know whether or not I should tell him. I don’t have anyone to go to about this since he’s literally the person I would vent to normally, so I just decided to let it out here.