I need advice about the thing with men having female friends. I don’t know. I could understand if it is a childhood friend. And old ex where love and attraction is long gone (ON BOTH PARTS) and only friendship is left etc. But my boyfriend of 3 years (Been living together for a month), suddenly became friends with a girl from work(f25?).
I DON’T LIKE IT.
It started with him telling me how happy he was that there’s finally someone new at work that he clicked with. He told me who she is and they had a lot in common etc. I didn’t mind it at first. I was happy he was having a good time at work. I started minding when I met her. She was hostile, she called me the lucky one. And asked me if I felt threatened by younger women since I’m older (whut? I’m literally 2-3 older than her and 6 months older than my bf). He laughed. I told him that I didn’t like her and that I didn’t want him to be closer to her. He has a lot of friends and he doesn’t need her. He called me jealous and ridiculous. I said fine.
I kept an eye and they started texting more and more frequently. We celebrated our anniversary last weekend and she knew it. She was texting the whole evening and he answered some of her texts. She asked him if he was having fun at our celebration and he said very much so she texted:
“If you’re really having fun you wouldn’t be texting me instead😈😈”
I told him that was enough and that he should put his phone aside. I asked him if he thought what she wrote was okay. He said that she was only joking. That’s her sense of humor. I should loosen up. I told him again that I didn’t like her and that even though I could be wrong he should respect my wishes and cut her off. He told me that I was controlling and insecure and that he isn’t doing anything wrong so I should respect and trust him. The evening was ruined. We fought.
I thought to myself. Maybe I was controlling and inecure and in that case he shouldn’t be with someone like me. Or I could be right and he is letting someone step over my boundaries and then I shouldn’t be with him. Either way we should be with each other. I took a personal day. Moved all my stuff from his apartment and went back to my old place that I shared with a friend. She was happy to have me back so she didn’t need to find a new roomie.
Everyone now from my bf to our friends to our families think I’m overreacting. We could discuss and solve this. But I have tried. For many months. To make him understand that i was very uncomfortable. He texts me multiple times a day to come to my senses and to stop being childish. He loves me and she is just a friend. Funny that old me is the childish one isn’t it? With the age gap and all.